ReaLitY Vs FAnTaSY

Dear diary,
       How would fantasy be defined? Fantasy, I guess is living the life of our dreams. A life, which does not contain things we are not happy with, in which things happen to us which we pretty well know wouldn't happen in reality. Summed up, fantasy is a life in which you are your own God, you control things; how they happen and what happens.It isn't the world that is going to do the decision making for you.
      Then what is reality? Reality is what actually happens to us. Scientifically put, it is the earth moving around the Sun, the Sun moving along with the Milky Way in this infinitely vast universe with us moving along with them.
      Now comes the question: Why do we fantasize? rather Why do we have to fantasize? The answer, I guess, is simple: in search of happiness. If reality and fantasy were to coincide, I wouldn't be calling that a life, that would be bliss. Come on, we all know there is no person on this planet Earth who is so very much satisfied with his life,with his day to day goings, that he would say,"I don't have the need to fantasize.I don't live a perfect life parallel to reality. My life is perfect".A sadhu who has attained inner peace would be fantasizing of his place in heaven at God's abode. Brad Pitt would be fantasizing of a chick hotter than Angelina Jolie. A bald man would be fantasizing of himself as being Baba Ramdev someday. No one is an exception.
    Do we have to fantasize? Isn't it dangerous? I mean, if fantasy dominates Reality in our lives,that is when you are down with schizophrenia( a psychological term that has got something to do with delusions).I wouldn't say yes for an answer. The sense of euphoria experienced when we fantasize of being someone we have dreamt of being someday, but couldn't be, is worth the risk taken. Life is this balance between Reality and fantasy and we're all heading towards the same common goal: 'To merge Reality with fantasy'.


Bye.

LoVE: SUICIDaL

Dear diary,
       It is only when suicides happen near you that you realize their impact, not when newspapers shout about the increasing suicide rate in farmers, not when people talk about the high suicide rates in the IITs. The climax to TECHNEX'12 was not the way it was anticipated.There was no DJ night, no Laser Show,just the talk on everyone's lips that someone from Mechanical 3rd year has committed suicide and that the show has been cancelled.
     Now the 'Mechanical and Suicide Combination' struck one thing in my mind: Pressure.But Pressure was not to be the reason. The reason turned out to be this:(This I've come to know through sources. So,Please excuse me if it turns out to be wrong) His girl friend has done the same thing he has done today three days ago and her reason-unknown. This sparks off a serious debate with one side claiming 'How could a girl be more dearer to him than his own life and ,maybe, his parents who've been with him all throughout his life' and the other side telling 'They are true lovers in every sense of the word, One couldn't live without the other'. Don't call me as being unromantic in calling love the culprit.Love could happen to anyone and this would've been a perfect ending to a Bollywood movie: a boy dying for a girl. But how could he be so obsessed with the girl who he must've met recently that he thought of her life as more important to him than his very own life; The life he's been living for the past,say, 21 years , the life that has brought him onto this planet Earth by being that successful sperm. And his parents? Wouldn't they be devastated by his loss? I've never been through what he must've gone through. I don't even know him,Maybe I shouldn't be saying this. But yes, I would call him a coward for doing such a thing.
     May his soul rest in peace.

Bye.

SaNKRaNTI:MEMORIES

Dear diary,
         When you are studying at a place far from you home(Am I studying?? :) ), you tend to get nostalgic about your home,your parents,your hometown at precisely four particular instances:
1. MESS: Twice a day you would want to teleport yourself to your homes.You would enter the mess,hungry as ever, but looking at the food served would make your stomach go numb and you would start yearning for the home made stuffs.
2. When you're not well(both physically and mentally).
3. Exam time: Exams bring along with them misery, misery in the form of One Night Studies and your only source of salvation would be to think of home.
4. Festivals: Staying away from home during the festivals is the worst,Especially if you happen to be a Southerner, studying somewhere in North-India where Sankranti is considered just a holiday or just some day for flying kites. 
      
         Back at home,Sankranti to me held a different meaning. It was a three day festival (not a one day one like it is here), a three day holiday for kids,best if happens to fall in the middle of the week.It would start with the onset of festive season one week before Sankranti; actually the festive season to me started off even before, it started 3 days before Christmas,when my hols started. Then the New Year, a week a two of going to school and then Sankranti.
        This is how my Sankranti used to go. One day before the first day,Bhogi, me ,dad and brother used to go out to procure wood for the 'Bhogi Manta' (It was a custom to light a bonfire on the first day of Sankranti early in the morning.Sadly though, for the last 4 years, I've not been able to do this). Then getting up at 4 in the morning was the toughest part; then the bonfire, the getting ready part, new clothes,haldi applied on them, Man!! how I miss all these now. The evenings with the family reunions, the 'Bhogi Pallu', it was a custom in which the kids are showered with berries on their head( the reason I'm not sure of but I'll make it a point to ask Mom next time), it was real fun with us kids getting together after a long time.
        The next day was the Real Family Reunion day. There was not much to do that day, a public holiday,which meant everyone was at home, all relatives meeting and the entire day spent in lazing about or watching the hit movies being telecasted on TV, kids playing outside in the verandah, the elders sharing news about their well being. So, Sankranti in one word to me meant Family Reunions. The third day used to be a pretty sad day to me, schools reopen, relatives depart, going their own way; seemed sort of like the 'Calm after Carnival'. Whatever it is,staying away from home hurts me, but I really didn't have time to think off all this today.There is festivity here as well (for a different reason, though). We have TECHNEX ,our annual technical fest , it really is like a carnival here.Whatever, I still miss my home.


Bye.

A tROUble cALLed DS

Dear diary,

      You know what the best feeling in the world is? It is when you start at your hostel at 9:03 to attend DS's class at 9,cycling rigorously, panting furiously ,knowing all the way that you're never going to make it, but with that wee bit of hope that Sir might be late today and you find the entire class outside ,that's when you feel ecstasy.Wait a second! Did I tell you about DS? DS summed up in two sentences would be this.He is like a strict father who wakes you up at 8:50 in the morning 3 times a week by,maybe, pouring a bucketful of ice cold water on your face on a chilly winter morning. You would very well want to shout at him for doing such a thing but you realize you've got no option. Like a caring mother who knows she's got to be strict with her kids, he says,'Sorry Please' even when you are only two minutes late to the class. You would want to shout at him," Come on man! After all that I've gone through in getting up at 8:50 just for you,stopped my morning rituals just for you, this is what I get." You very well know you can't do that.So you silently leave the place, like a defeated martyr.

     Now the worst feeling in the world. You go through all what is mentioned in the best feeling, only to realize that half the class standing out has actually been kicked out for being late.You would start feeling giddy, the world around you starts closing in,You would feel like a blind man who's got his eyes back and loses his gift of sight again(all feelings packed in one).

     This is exactly what happened to me today. One instant, I was cycling furiously, as though I was competing with Lance Armstrong and I find this crowd right in front of G-10. I begged God that it should be my class and from the distance I recognized a tall and a lean guy as Arpit. Lo and behold, that was my class.I was on cloud nine, dancing with joy. The next instant, truth lays in dirty hold on me. This time I found myself on cloud minus nine(there is no such thing as cloud minus nine, I'm using this to emphasize the transition my feelings have gone through).This episode has left me distraught but the urge to get up early tomorrow has only increased.

Bye

LaB SCenARio

Dear diary,
       Yesterday, an amazing thing happened to me.I have,for the first time in this year(academic, I mean), enjoyed doing the practical in the lab.Wait! let me make myself clear, this doesn't mean I hated labs or something; by fully enjoyed I meant along with having fun in the lab, with the friends,of course, I got to do the experiment (contently).
       Let me take you to the labs that we have in the second year,preferably the Networks lab that I'm recently working in.Well, there exists two,No, I guess it is three kinds of people in the lab.The first kind.They are the bosses in the group(atleast they feel they are). Like the way the  Whites, in the 18th and 19th century,felt about their natural dominance over the Blacks,these people feel they are the natural leaders in the group and that without them the group would become impotent.
      Now the second type. They are the ambitious guys( there is no shortage of ambitious guys in the IT.People here are crazy to prove themselves, be it in any field). So what do these people do? They would want to grab as much information as possible from the experiment.So with the 1st type guys standing right infront of the apparatus, these fellows try to get as close to the apparatus as possible, leaning over to see what's happening and in the process irritating the 1st type (the 1st type feels that it is the one doing the saviour role, doing the experiment for the group and then explain the same to the 2nd and 3rd type. Real heroes, I should say).
      The third type. It includes people like me who are fed up with whatever's happening, move away from the group and go to another group and say this to a co-3rd type guy,'wo karne nahi deta hai yaar' or 'Wo kar lega yaar, apan ko tension lene ki kya jarurat hai'. So this brings me back to yesterday.
      Yesterday was like a dream date in the lab with Anmol.It was only the two of us in front of the apparatus (Both of us are 3rd type guys. So,we understand each other better). We did the experiment, sharing the work,in a real harmonic manner(I'm not trying to exaggerate) and believe me, we were the ones who finished the expt. first. Dedicated to all the 3rd type guys.We are awesome.
      Now, back to today. Things in the lab were back to normal; with me taking the avatar of the 3rd type guy. However appaling the reality might seem, I need to accept it and go on with being a 3rd type guy.

Bye.

P.S. I've used the word guys all throughout and not gals becoz gals in the lab consist of only type.Being the minority in the group(there is usually only 1 in the group) and flooded with masculinity, they prefer to stay not too close to the group but they get involved all the same. But what really matters at the end of the day to them is if the reading are correct, is the jugaad sensible, is the file completed with an A on the index page for every experiment.

SAtURnALIA: MEMORIES

Dear Diary,
         The new year's day passed with me staying in a state of mild hangover; I'm not used to sleeping only 4 hours a day and that too,with the entire night spent in aimless wandering along the Ghats. Then yesterday, we had this Saturnalia thing(this was actually supposed to be held on Jan 1 but then rain has played spoilsport). So, this brings me back to the memories of Saturnalia last year.
          You must be knowing that last year, me and my friends had our stall installed at the Saturnalia; The stall went on to become a ,if not a huge success, a success, all the same and we earned a good amount of money. More than money, it is the memories that would last forever. So, last year at this time we were actually going hostel to hostel selling the tickets(Did I just say selling? No. We were actually requesting the people ;the strategy depending on the class of the person we were dealing with. Now again, requesting would be a civilized term for begging) in the biting cold; Southerners like me are not used to living in extreme conditions. It really was fun working together, it has really fostered friendships. Suddenly, we became entrepreneurs, thinking of how we can fool people and make money.One year has gone by,things have changed,I have changed,people have changed groups and groups have bigger.
          This year,Saturnalia was pretty much the same,only we dancing out in the open, not trapped in the stalls. It was a bit awkward watching the boy-boy and girl-girl doing the ballot dance for the romantic numbers(Then again, it was fun). The classes were pretty much the same,I don't think I need to tell you about them,they would bore you, I know. So, that's all for today.

Bye   

GHaT pe NEW YEAR

       First of all, I wish you a happy and a prosperous new year 2012.The new year celebrations I had yesterday was entirely different from the ones I've had before.There was no cake, no TV telling me when the clock would struck 12, no music and most importantly, there was no planning. It was set outdoors, and the best place in Benaras would obviously be the Ghats.
       It all started this way. I was, as usual, doing the planning as to how I could make the celebrations memorable, and then,Patidar comes with this idea, out of nowhere, that we should be going to the Ghats for the celebration. Initially, the idea seemed a bit irrational,but later it went on to be a real big hit.And so, Ghats it was, and we started off at 7:30 and were at Assi Ghat by 8:00. Then we traversed the entire length of the Ghats on foot having fun all the time( I never thought Ghats could be so much fun; but I guess with friends, any place is fun). Had dinner and then waited for the clock to struck 12.Coincidence was that, many of my other friends also made to the Ghats and it was like a big gathering of the Trical 2nd year by 12 in the night.
      Strike 12 and we were all dancing like mad,hugging ,wishing each other a 'Happy new year' (I was always having this feeling that (I was somewhere outside my hostel,what with half the branch being present there, you are bound to feel this way). The foreigners were all the time, clicking photos of us, it was all new to them, I guess.
   The rest of the night was spent in searching for places to rest a bit; with police almost shooing us away from the place once, cuddling together to generate some heat and live the night(It really started to get cold when it started to rain at about 2:30 in the morning)
      Somehow spent the night and at about 5 in the morning, we went to the viswanath mandir (I didn't have the dare to bathe in the ice cold waters of the Ganges but Patidar and Bhaskas Anna managed to do that) and then at 6:30 we went to the other side by boat to watch the sunrise.The clouds were too thick for the sun to come out, so there was no sunrise as such, but it was nice all the same. And then, the bird watching(both the migratory and the foreign........ you know what) was really awesome.Came back home at about 9 in the morning and could only manage to get inside the Razai and doze off.
      Now, when I look back at this thing , I would remember this as one of the best New Year celebrations I've had in my life. Thanx a lot to my friends who made this memorable.