eXPiRY DaTe

Dear diary,
            Everything in this world comes with an expiry date; from commodities to human form, everything withers away some day or the other. So does my tendency to stay away from home; so to say, at IIT BHU. Manufacturing settings of my brain have set the expiry date at around two months. Implying that during the first two months of my staying away from home, my brain functions normally. Once the expiry date is reached, symptoms of home sickness start surfacing one after the other. The only remedy to this queer condition of mind would be to go back home, get rejuvenated and set the counter in my brain back to zero.
            With the expiry date long reached- I left Vijayawada on the 16th of July- so that's 20 days past my 2 months barrier, the symptoms have already started surfacing. Like in SWADES, images pertaining to my home start popping up in my mind. Thus begins a virtual slide of photos; photos of my home, my parents, my friends, the 'Addas' we have, literally everything of fondness in Vijayawada finds its entry into the slide show. Home obsessed guys like me have a really hard time now, more so if you're 30 hours away. You would start losing interest in the worldly things- Not that your life would turn morose or something but the pang of being away from home evident all the same- things that were hitherto fun would become disinteresting; the disinterest discernible from the inadvertently long stares into infinity and thoughts ending at nothing.
           Strangely though, none of what I've told you before seems to happen during the first two months-Of course instances like the happening of CT's or your famished soul staring at the 'Mess ka Khana' would bring back the yearning to go back home. The fast approaching 
CT's only make the yearning more, thus increasing the frequency of slide shows and the number of times I call home-Listening to the voices of my parents and friends gives me solace. Now Is there a cure to this state of mind? The only respite from this feeling would be to launch yourself into a busy life not giving your mind the time to realize the distance. And the more elegant solution, to make the place where you stay your home. Some of my friends have managed to achieve this but for a guy like who has spent the first 17 years of his life at the very same place, whose childhood memories happen to be hidden in  every nook and corner of my city - a part of my soul still lingers there taking pleasure from them, detachment from home would always be painful and no amount of fun, however lively the life    
I lead here would compensate for the distance in heart. 
           I can only find solace in waiting for the day when I'd be leaving to home and meanwhile, I'll pretend as though of detachment doesn't exist, living my life here to the fullest-One and a half year, not much of a time left here, I guess.


Bye.

a 'ReCoRD BReaKiNG' BDC

Dear diary,
             The Blood Donation Camp that KU organized was a real hit with a record 494 units of blood collected on a single day.True, this would be stale news for you. The newspapers had already done the revelation a week before. So over enthusiastic I was in donating blood that inspite of my being completely exhausted from the day's work, weak from the rough week I had earlier, I donated blood. And the result was obvious. MY body succumbed to the double loss of health and blood; a bout of viral fever. It took me 3 days to be able to walk the length between my room and mess.This coupled with a series of other preoccupations left with me no time to tell you this.
          Going back to what happened last week.This Sunday, unlike other Sundays, the sun had risen pretty early for me, at 5:45 and work started at 6; the work of readying the common room for the 'BDC'. It was fun; All of us KU guys getting together to work. Work seems fun when like-minded people do it together; Better still when what you're doing isn't for your own self, when you're not being paid, when you're doing it to experience 'The Joy Of Giving' without expecting nothing in return.
             Today was the one day when the KU people get the pomp and glamour that they're hitherto denied; Of course you gain importance when you're entitled the responsibility of getting  blood donated from a pretty girl, from taking her to the alloted bed to giving her the supplements after the donation to making sure she is fit to go back home. This also attracted the envy of the Non-KU guys as they tried their best to linger around in the common room but were ultimately shooed away. Today was the day when KUites weren't perceived as just 'They have nothing to do at IIT BHU Yaar. Left with nothing else to do, they turn towards KU.'There was no room for cynics to say,' They joined KU for money Yaar. Where do you think our monthly 20 goes? Into their parties, Aur kaha?' They couldn't blurt that out today. Heights of cynicism. Instead of the praises that KUites deserve, they hurl allegations at us. To hell with these cynics, KU would continue to do what is destined to do.
          Coming back to the BDC. The smooth flow of traffic started at 8 in the morning with the number of students reaching a peak from 11-12. It was good to see that more number of girls had given blood from the previous year's comparision. Their presence added glamour to the event. The boys flocked in large numbers too and Yes they added glamour as well. Marred by a few instances of 'people losing their senses after the donation'- the one where the guy started kicking his legs really shook the scene- the rest of the proceedings went on smoothly.
         The event came to close on a high note when momentos were presnted to the 'Sunderlal team'- They had to devote a complete day for a noble cause. Then we got together for the KU group photo- This ritual usually marks the end of every big event in KU.
        Had a pleasant time today. Am really glad to be a part of KU.


Bye.
       

PHeW!! oVeR aT LaST

Dear diary,
          The last week had been really sluggish; Time seemed to be crawling at snail's pace- time dilation occurs under two circumstances: One, when you travel at speeds close to the speed of light, as Einstein earlier contemplated and the second, psychological dilation of time occurs when you're stuck in unpleasant circumstances. What unpleasant had been happening to me? Of course, it's the CT's that had been playing havoc with my life and threw my life into turmoil. Stuck in the vortex of trying to complete the syllabus and the urge to try to comprehend what is being read, the CT experience hadn't been altogether pleasant. 
        The advent of CT's sparks off some noticable changes amongst our lives here. You wouldn't see people doing unproductive work-not completely atleast- discussions erupt-not on girls or any other damn thing, but on the dull inanimate things being discussed in the books. Geeks attain utmost priority, you would see more number of people loitering near their 'Abode of Knowledge' trying to gain every ounce of knowledge that would fly past their room. Some of the least expected ones end up in their rooms asking them to throw light on the 'dark matter' shoved into their hands by their Profs.
     Walking through the CT's was for me, like being stranded in a desert with the only vista being the Oasis strewn with rich palm trees- the end of CT's in my context. The distant vista seems to be beckoning you but you know you'll have to bust your ass to make it there.What with the Oasis reached - the icing on the cake being the BSC Sir's test today. This was a one of a kind test, a student's paradise, where the only talent to score marks would be to be able to crane your neck to look into your neighbour's paper who is sitting close enough that your shoulders almost touch, without being caught.
       Now that things are back to normal, that other adversity that has been fogged by the CT's would come into light- Job crisis. Data structures and the C programming find their way into every household. The 'Word Power' and the GRE guys cry ' Hail Norman Lewis' in unison; the IAS guys would snuggle into their books of 'God knows what'.What with the crisis getting deeper and deeper there seems to be less of Bakchodi and more of the useful stuff going around. Let me leave it here and hope that peace prevails until the advent of the next CT.

Bye.

"iNDePeNDeNCe": HoW We ReaLiZe iT?

       Come 15th August and the patriotic fervour sets in on the Indian crowd. With loud speakers blaring patriotic songs, songs that proclaim India's rich cultural heritage, the Unity in diversity, songs that describe the heroic acts of our freedom fighters and the agony they had to go through to bring India the much acclaimed Independence from the colonial rule; With the  national flag being hoisted in every Gali, the national anthem being sung at every gathering, the feeling of Indianness gets escalated that results in the electric sensation running down the spine saying: 'I'm proud to be an Indian'. With the young India taking to the streets holding flags, rising their voices in unison for the 'Vande Mataram' and the 'Inquilab  Zindabad' hope rises in the Indian hearts that we've got a glorious future ahead.
       It is only a matter of time when this fleeting sensation of patriotism withers away and we start being our normal cynical self, accusing India of not being able to live upto the dreams of its freedom fighters, resorting to the cliched phrase:' 65 years on Independence and look at where we stand. The same dire state of destitution, politicians bred in corruption, the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer theory and then we say in mock despair:'Kuch nahi ho sakta is desh ka'.
    And saying so we turn towards the USA or any other assumed Utopian country for comfort.The sort of dominance and the hold that the West has on the world and India in particular infuriates us but left with no other choice, we resort to aping the West. Imperialism has discarded its earlier image of colonization, it now means dominance, having a very loud say in the country's internal affairs. So India and Indians have been reduced to mere puppets in the hands of the West; And so we have more T-shirts shouting 'I love NY' than those that even talk about India, Hard Rock has crept deeper into our minds the melody that swayed India. English has become an inseparable component in our lives leaving us with no other option than to make it our 1st language-followed of course by the native ones. India has always been a safe haven for all the MNC'S - read as companies from the West- for they well know that imported stuff appeals more to the Indians than the home made ones.
     True, India has managed to rid itself from the colonial rule on this very day 65 years ago, But the West still manages to shape our thoughts and the country's future at large. With the trade rules liberalised and the foreign investments made open in the 90's the MNC's now have a lion's share in the Indian economy. With the FDI probably to be made open in the retail sector in the near future, we are only one step closer from being completely dependent on the West, the era of Imperialism is bound to return, Of course this time there would be no struggle for freedom and the chances of being liberated are very bleak.

CaReeR CRiSiS

Dear diary,
        The tension here was more than what I had expected it to be; not that I was anticipating this. Prepared though I was for this confrontation with career, looking at life from the crossroads, having to decide for the future isn't any fun. Back when I was a kid, growing up was fun. Getting to break the barriers one by one, that age has imposed on us gave me happiness. But now the very feeling of growing up is giving me creeps.Content I was with my life when the only important decision I had to take in life was to choose the flavour of  Cheetos I had to buy. The question ' What are you going to be when you grow up?' had had a completely different meaning in my life. A naive and carefree me gave answers ranging from Soldier, Businessman, Scientist, Industrialist, to the more recent 'Job lag jaye yaar bas'.
      The tension was evident from the moment I made my entry into Rajputana- the very same hostel that housed me in the first year, that saw my my entry into the Institute, when the grave and the appalling realities of words like future and career weren't fully aware to me- the entire branch has become alert, discussions erupted everywhere; their central theme being career, resolutions being made, efforts being intensified, clarity being sought for various career plans.
       Blessed are those who've chosen IAS as a career option- atleast they know what they're supposed to do- and those who've managed to stay at the top- their pointers might drive them home as far as jobs are concerned- but for the confused souls like me, life remains a mystery. With the arrival of companies for intern to be flagged off in a fortnight or so, the crisis has only deepened. With core and software being the only career options- Leaving of course the possibility that you would want to continue studying in India or abroad- there isn't much to choose from. Either you start off with the basics of Electrical Engineering or wrestle with coding( Both these options sound gruelling to me).
     Hence started my III year, confusing and intriguing at the same time- intriguing because you never know where you would end up-with the only ray of hope being the IIT tag. No. I don't think that would be of much help either. Can only hope for the best, as of now. It is when being realistic ceases to be of comfort, we turns towards optimism.
       This is all I can say for now: 'God bless our confused souls'.


Bye.

iT'S 'SRK' aLL oVeR

Dear diary,
          SRK has made it to the news again; Of course, it is the duty of the media to project the celebrities onto the screen- the celebrities owe a lot to the media( the Indian media, in particular) in this regard. Unfortunately for SRK, he's made it to the news for negative reasons; reasons, I presume, he wouldn't be happy for once he was back into being sober.
         Every other news channel I tuned into today- News channels, they usually act as an alternative for me when ads disrupt the flow of  a programme or the movie I happen to be watching - had one of the two things going: One, the local corporate colleges bragging about the JEE ranks they've secured and Two, the 'SRK brawl case'.
         The Indian media has always been in the habit of gnawing at any tiny bit of news that might add glamour to their organization. I don't know if SRK happens to be so important a figure( An iconic figure he is, no doubt) that his every move would create sensations or if there's been a shortage of things to be reported. So the news reporters read and re-read the fact that 'SRK  has been banned from the Wankhade stadium for 5 years' with a slide show of sweaty images of SRK getting into a tussle with the officials adding clarity to the viewer. God bless SRK and the MCA for whatever happened. ' I do not want to dig deep into whatever happened there, speculating at every finer detail. I've got my own problems to deal with', is what an average Indian would've thought upon watching this melancholy.
       Thanks to the media, SRK's got the negative publicity he never would've wanted. I wouldn't wrong SRK completely in whatever happened. People when drunk tend to get hyper active, fight at petty issues and SRK, though a high level celeb happens to be a human at heart. I guess, SRK should either have come into the stadium sober or should've refrained himself from coming into the stadium once he was drunk. Hope he's learnt a lesson here.
        The heat at Vijayawada has become unbearable with the mercury levels never falling below 40 in the last few days.  Hope there would be respite in the days to come. 


Bye.

aN eVeNTFuL YeaR

Dear diary,
          This might be the last time that I'd be writing to you from 239, Morvi hostel; the very same place from where I'd been telling you things, trying to give you a glimpse of my life here. Well, What has happened for the past 3 weeks? The end sems seemed to  have taken a toll on me, sucking all the life out of me and 3 weeks went by VROOM!! with me doing little else other than sitting stoned in my room, doing the inevitable 'Hunt for Grades'. The exercise has left me with no time to share things with you.
       'Study  Eat  Sleep', in their decreasing order of priority, This pretty much sums it for my 2 weeks of not writing to you.
        And so I sit here and ponder over the fact that another year is almost coming to a close; How fastly time has flown in the last 1 year. Ironically though, it is only after time has flown, leaving its marks on you,that you realize time has gone real fast, not when you're  actually experiencing it. Last year, it was on this day that my friends and I left to Gorakhpur en route to Nepal and now as I look back into that day, I can feel the change that has taken place both in and around me, the change that 2nd year has brought along with it.
       With the 'Faccha' tag gone, coming into 2nd year meant shedding the Freshers Outlook (that we had all over the first year) and assuming leadership; the feeling of belongingness towards the institute only increased and thus opened the gates to II year and to opportunities ahead.
        New hostel, new roommates, rooms being chosen to will; Borders made( both in mind and in space) this time the demarcation being more distinct. And so we stepped into the Electrical Department, hopes high, all set to experience what we call the 'core stuff'.Then came Machines along with many others;( others weren't that scary though. But contrary to my expectations,they weren't any interesting either). But the experience with Machines was excruciating, making it clear to me that the core was not meant for me.
        It is amazing how time changes our attitude; both towards things and people. How II year has made us more materialistic; Back in I year we were new to life here, but now that we know how the world operates here we had to change. How fame for some changed their attitude towards the world, How most of us still remain mediocres in search of what we call true recognition, how friendships have been redefined, partly losing their usual selfless form.
      With the IDD staying along with us, excellent relationships have been fostered with them, who were hitherto thought of as quite alien( by us B.Tech guys).
    The II sem was a mere repetition of the I with the fests adding to the joyous atmosphere for the 1st half of the sem. The 2nd half, well has the end sems and with the peak almost scaled; The labs happen to be the only thing left to scale the peak this mountain called end sems and life started to get back to normal. I realize that in no time, I'd be escalading to the III year and this time I'd be going to the III year without much of a planning , knowing very well from the lessons that II year has taught me that planning things in advance or fantasizing about them kills the joy of experiencing things first hand.
          Going into the finer details of life this year would mean writing a book; well, so much has happened  this year, a single page letter wouldn't serve the purpose. As it was change I wanted to emphasize upon, I hope this letter would convey my feelings to you.

Bye.